Mini Reviews (I): Horrors of Spider Island and Track of the Moon Beast

I watched a couple of movies over the weekend. Neither real deserve a full review, so I decided to do a couple of minis. Of course, Open House didn't deserve a full review and I've posted twice on it, but let us not dwell on that, shall we?

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Horrors of Spider Island

For whatever reason, be it chemical imbalance or just a warp in my mind, I keep thinking of this as Whores of Spider Island”. There is probably something very, very wrong with me. Or the natural result of watching this movie. Who can say?

On to the plot. A plane full of dancers on route to Singapore crashes into the ocean. The survivors drift to the titular island where they spend most of their time being catty towards one another, spiced with the occasional drag-out fight. They also like spending their time frolicking in the forest and swimming at the beach. Eventually events contrive a rescue and a bit of romance.

Oh, and their manager Gary gets bit by a spider and turns into a monster whose only desire is to throttle people. But not like that's important.

Dad and I spent this movie picking it apart MST3K style. It's full of near endless padding, and clearly was made to have the dancers in revealing costumes. As bad as it is, I'd watch it again quicker than I would Open House. Which isn't saying all that much, now that I think of it...

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Track of the Moon Beast

A moon fragment buries a particle of itself into a man's head. Now when the moon rises into the sky, he turns into a terrible monster that stalks the countryside looking for victims.

This one is your standard Werewolf movie, down to the doomed romance between our Moon Beast and a pretty photographer. Gaping plot holes, foreshadowing akin to an eclipse, and some really stupid characters (particularly towards the end of the film) really weighs things down. The monster and transformation effects are about what you would expect for the time period. In fact, I've seen worse in more modern films (specifically The Howling: New Moon Rising).

All in all, I rather enjoyed Track of the Moon Beast while I was watching it. Not sure I'd watch it again, but it's not beyond the realm of possibilities that I would.

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End Notes

• According to the IMdB, Horrors of Spider Island had nude scenes in its original form. This does not surprise.
• Also coming in as no surprise is the little fact that both films were featured on MST3K. While I honestly liked most of Track of the Moon Beast, it could have used some assistance from the Satellite of Love