Dennis Weaver

Dennis Weaver has also past away. His movie "Duel" was a big part of my childhood. Brother Eric and I reinacted the end of the movies dozens of times, taking turns as the driver.

Sick

I am currently under the weather right now. It's not at the "Death is better" stage. It's more like "Death might be an option, possibly, if things don't pick up."

I'll be back

Darren McGavin and Don Knotts

Both actors have now passed on. I wasn't too surprised about McGavin (last I heard he wasn't doing so well) but Knotts was a bit of a shocker. Thought he would be around forever.

Site Update: Yeah This Is a Theme Week, And the Theme Is...

...Cullen not working on the blog. Sorry about that. I'm taking today off to work on story writing. Experiments and exersices and the like. I'll finish this series later. Really. And, with any luck, another series before the weekend.

But no guarentees.

Fantastic and Romance (I) - Peeves

Not every story needs romance. This is a given. In fact, sometimes the romantic stuff stalls a nicely purring engine and leaves you stuck waiting to start back to wherever you were headed. However, sometimes a bit of sap adds a certain flavor to the proceedings.

And then there are the stories where it's all about the romance, but yuck! Who wants to write about that?

Juvenile (and untrue) outbursts aside, this series is going to be on my various thoughts about Romance in fiction. There will be no outline to follow, as per usual, and it will no doubt will putter out into a long embarrassed silence filled with regrets.

Sort of like the last time I asked a female out on a date.

But hopefully with more intentional laughter and less hysterical type laughter.

Cause I'm sick of that.

Anyway, we start with what I don't like about Romance in Fiction and we'll move from there.

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Why Not St. Valentine's Day?

The most obvious question I can think of is "Why this week? Why not last week when it was, y'know, more topical?" The reason is simple: my family doesn't believe in Valentine's Day. Like at all. Dear Cousin Emily referred to it as a card holiday, and while I was surprised my sweet cousin didn't get in to that sort of thing, I couldn't argue.

Now if I should gain a Significant Other (perish the thought!) I might make an effort for her sake, but I will never be comfortable until after it passes. Not since I started thinking of it as Dump the Chump day. See, I know someone who was dumped by their Valentine on that very day. Not once, but twice. Each time after he gave them their gift. Most harsh.

Brother Eric absolutely loathes the holiday. With a passion. For reasons that might well have to do with a previous paragraph. Maybe. I'm not saying one way or the other. His reasons are his own. But there are two of them. Just so you know.

(That'll teach him not to be a regular reader of this blog...)

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The One Hour Romance

You've no doubt seen this. The two people meet, know each other for but a short time, and instantly they are in wuv... excuse, in love. I don't believe in love in first sight, obviously, but even if I did, I don't think of it as dramatically sound. No building of ties, strengthening of bonds, that sort of thing, between the reader and the character. It's weak and sloppy and smacks of the Author taking the easy way out.

Now it's clear I'm not in the majority here, considering the continued and lasting popularity of Romeo and Juliet. Which I must confess I can't understand in the slightest. Here's a play about two kids drowning in hormones who meet a couple of times and decide that life isn't worth living without each other's company. It isn't a tragedy; it's Darwinism cleaning up the gene pool. If they could have take the Nurse with them it could have been a hat trick.

We had to read Romeo and Juliet in high school, along with that other anti-romance, Wuthering Heights, in high school, and I'm still bitter about it. What an education. Of course, we also got to read The Maltese Falcon, Hound of the Baskervilles, and Frankenstein, so my school was pretty damn cool. But I was happier before Romeo and the ever so "charming" Heathcliff. Much happier.

Small note before I move on to the next peeve. While this is the first portion of the series published, it is actually the second written. The original post deals with what I consider the Greatest Romantic Movie in All Fantastic Film, and wouldn't you know it? A variation on the One Hour Romance. Like everything, if the end result is entertaining, I can overlook my dislikes.

Sometimes.

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Destined Romances

Along with the One Hour Romance, I hate seeing two characters who are "Meant to Be". The protagonist dreams of a character in chapter three and by chapter five or later, surprise, surprise the dream appears in the flesh. This happens more in Fantasy than in any place else, but when there is only one potential matching, that old "Match Made in Heaven" feeling creeps in and the romance loses something for me.

I like Romantic Triangles and Quadrangles myself. Picking out who I would prefer the protagonist end up with, rooting for or against, all adds spice to the proceeding. I like the possibility that the Wrong One might be chosen. Or that I chose the wrong one.

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The Hell He/She Doing With Her/Him?

Like in any story, the battle must be even. Romantic Triangles and Quadrangles aren't nearly as fun if one or more of the points is an obvious drip that will be shuffled off to oblivion. If the choice isn't hard, it isn't worth while. Too many modern Romances are like this, which is why I don't have much use for most of them.

Of course, most modern Romances aren't in the Fantastic field, so I'd have little use for them anyways, but that's neither here nor there...

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Inferred Romance

Finally, we have the Inferred Romance. Suddenly the characters are in love, without even the casualness of an One Hour Romance. This is LAZY WRITING and I HATE IT!!! That stuff should have been strengthened before it went out into the world. THERE IS SELDOM AN EXCUSE ACCEPTABLE FOR IT!

GAAAH!

I had an example, but it's in territories Welltun Cares Presents has yet to tread. In general terms, it's a video game. In specific terms, it's one of the worst I have ever played. I considered using it as an example, but my Hate hasn't died enough on it. Apparently.

So, no examples!

Yeah. Writing by whim works real well.

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Next time, we'll cover what I enjoy in Romance (probably a shorter piece) and move on to The Greatest Romantic Movie in All Fantastic Film (which, excusing a slight rewrite, is done.) That should be that... though I might continue if I can think of more...

World View Quiz --- Taken!

Found another one of those quizzes surfers stumble across when traversing the web. This one was on World Views. Thought I'd share. I had not guessed at what the outcome would be, but when it came, I thought it most accurate. Not a bad little quiz as these things go.

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You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational. Cultural Creative 75% Idealist 56% Postmodernist 50% Romanticist 44% Existentialist 38% Fundamentalist 31% Modernist 25% Materialist 19% What is Your World View? (updated) created with QuizFarm.com

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Next week is going to be a theme week, where I talk about my views on writing once again. Less of Cullen the Average Joe and more of Cullen the Writer Philosopher.

Be there or be square.

Or at least a quadrangle.

Come on, work with me here.

The Hell...?! (VI) - A Half Heard Ad

My Dad and I were listening to the radio when this ad comes on. I'm only half listening, zoning with my thoughts. Something about self-help. The usual nonsense.

Through my haze I hear the announcer talking about an idea is so absurd, I couldn't have heard it right. I turn to Dad and asked, "Self-Hypnosis... online?"

He confirmed that my hearing was still reasonably acute.

I laughed. "I can just see it. You're sitting there in front of your monitor and..."

Now I can tell you where I was going with that thought. I saw, as clear as day, a monitor with swirling black and white lights. Maybe a giant Eye zooming in and out. Most definitely a Booming Voice suggesting you send credit card numbers, bank account numbers, first born child, kidney...

Insignificant things. Won't even miss 'em.

Trouble is I fumbled a bit mid-sentence. And in that instant Dad said, "Videodrome."

Trust my father to get to the point quicker and better than I could.

What can I do? I knew I was beat. I laughed again. "Yeah. Long live the New Flesh."

Horse Repeated

A horse of another color. (See? A reduction in puns as promised! Tomorrow, however, no guarantees!)

Horse Image

I've been horsing around of late, my thoughts cantoring about on every subject insteed of what I should be working on. Loping along this line of thought, I've been working on pictures rather than hacking through the novel. I thought I might trot one out and see whither or not it maretted praise.

Yeah. I'm foal of puns today. Real bad ones by the looks of things. Long stretches in the mane. Sorry to saddle you all with them. I just can't keep them at bay. But don't worry. I'm dun.

...

And now that my alleged wit has dried up and everyone has surfed away in disgust, on with the pictures!

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This is the original horse. The picture is terrible (blurry). The drawing fairly good (though it's hard to tell.) I'd say fire the photographer, but, sadly, that's me.

Again, the source of this image comes from the aforementioned Animal How To book. It is my very first attempt at a realistic horse (the My Little Pony sketches I did for Little Cousin Katie of course do not count.)

As I mentioned previously, I have a bit of trouble with symmetry, which this image reveals. I'm wondering, though, if it's not the quickness of the job that's biting me in the rump. Again, I think this is head and shoulders above the stuff I was doing two years ago, and may well be better than more recent stuff.

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And here's the finished image. Blackish was what the original was and that's what I used. Kills some of the line work, but I like it.

Almost left the eyes white. Problem there, I thought, was that it would look like DemoHorse, fresh from the gates of Hell. While demonic horses aren't bad per sey, it wasn't what I wanted.

Tomorrow (or so) an essay with fewer puns! Promise.

General Life Notes (I)

Drawing

I'm working on a recent picture with Jasc. One of my character's face. I do my usual thing. I "ink" one side of the face, from where the hair starts down to the jaw. I copy the "ink" work, mirror it, then paste it on the other side of the original ink job. Gives the face a more symmetrical look and, frankly looks better. There is usually a noticeable difference between the "ink" work and my original. An almost embarrassing difference, sometimes.

Not this time.

This time, the "ink" work matched up the original almost to perfection.

Now I've had other recent pictures that were par for the course, so this isn't exactly earth shaking. But it's another sign I'm improving, that I'm getting this drawing thing down.

Too bad the eyes weren't perfect.

Or the ears, for that matter.

But that'll come. I know it.

Sibling Rivalry - Writing

The new novel? Stalled. I can but only laugh. Still too green, to use a term from Damon Knight's book on writing. Needs a bit more thought. Of course, it's one of my older ideas... but that's nothing new, either.

However, on other fronts there are disturbing rumblings. Brother Eric let slip that he's been working on his fantasy series. When the mood takes him, but more now than in recent years. This is fantastic news, as I've always found Eric's world to be interesting and Eric himself a killer writer. But the thing is, I wanted to have the first publishable novel (already have first novel, heh heh heh). He keeps this up, and I keep my stuttering up, he's going to beat me. He's already beat me at driving and dating... what more does he want?

Clearly I need to get off my duff and get to work. Maybe on ole' "Crawl..."

But this is not the "worst" news. Oh no. Brother Eric has also submited storied to be published in his college's magazine. The very nerve! Doesn't he know I'm the only Waters Boy who gets published in our portion of the family? Little Brother's asking for a smack down, that's what I think.

Sibling rivalry aside, I'm pulling for Eric on the novel and the stories. I think he can do it. I really do.

Sibling Rivalry - A Speedy Exchange

This is something of a more older vintage, but I've been meaning to bring it up, and what better place than in this meandering piece?

Several years back, I stepped into Brother Todd's room, for what purpose I've forgotten. But knowing me and my family, it would have ran something like, "Hey Spirtle, where's the Oscillation Overthruster?"

Rather than focus on the important thing, i.e. what I wanted, Todd responded, "Spritle?"

This is, of course, something I wanted him to catch and almost (but not quite) as important as the Overthruster. For those not in the know (and haven't hit the link I gave), Spirtle is the little brother of Speed Racer, hero of my youth and adulthood. He and his buddy, the chimp Chim-Chim, caused havoc wherever they went and was annoying as all get out. Thus, using the name serves as an insult.

As the eldest, I need to set a proper example at all times. So the smirk I give him is most restrained. Smarmy but restrained.

Even without the smirk, Todd knows enough about the cartoon to see what I'm getting at. Being a teen at the time, his normal tone is tolerant condensation. This reply, however, is dripping with scorn, "I suppose you're Speed Racer."

"Nope," I said, smirking even more now. "I'm Rex." Speed's older brother. "Eric's Speed. You're Spritle."

Which won the contest, even though he tried to call me Chim-chim (weak!)

The thing is, the comparison is pretty close age-wise. Todd's the baby brother, he's annoying, it's just great. If I was a bit older or Eric a bit younger, it would be a perfect match. The one area my parents failed me in.

Now That's Got to Be Embarrassing

Read this in the paper today: A part of the deal for Monday Night Football guy Al Michaels moving to NBC included ABC (Disney) acquiring the rights to one Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.

I understand why this happened. Oswald was Mickey's predecessor. It's a part of the Disney heritage and, when everything is said and done, probably should be under the Mouse's banner. Not that I think the rabbit will pop up with any greater frequency now, but that's not the point.

The point is that Al Michaels just got traded for a cartoon rabbit.

A. Cartoon. Rabbit.

Gives me the giggles. I'm sure he doesn't care, I'm sure he doesn't think it matters. But I still think its a wee bit funny.

Of course, now that I've had my laugh, I'm destined to be traded for Manos: The Hands of Fate.

I probably deserve it.

"Masters of Horror - Cigarette Burns" - A Review

A revival house movie owner is in debt up to his eyeballs. He tries to earn money by acquiring a variety of movie memorabilia for collectors. His latest client wants him to find La Fin Absolute du Monde/The Absolute End of the World. A movie that, when screened, caused it's audience to rise up in a murderous riot. One that has some connection to a person who seems to be an angel with his wings cut off.

"Masters of Horror" is a Showtime's series. Each episode is a short movie filmed by an acknowledged Master of Horror. I have seen exactly one episode so far, though I have taped several. Don't ask me why that is; it just is.

"Cigarette Burns" is John Carpenter's entry in the series, although you really couldn't tell by watching it. The score is Carpenteresque, but everything else seems workman-like, as if his heart wasn't into it. Most strange, but that's not too much of a problem. Carpenter at his worst is still worth watching.

The real problem is with the story itself. Now I adore the premise to death and I will honestly say I grooved through the show. Two good jumps and a few serious squeamish moments with some of the gore. Thought about recommending it to my dad. It was only later, after I thought about it for a while, that I started to have problems with the show.

We'll do this by point. I'll try not to go into too much spoilers, but some can't be helped.

• One of the biggest flaws of the episode is that we see some of La Fin... Nice long sequences. And for a film that is supposed to inspire riots and madness... It just doesn't. Now granted there is a real and definite reason why the film does what it does, I think never seeing the movie would have been ever so much better.
• There is a mention, early in the episode, of the client allowing the protagonist to show the film at his theater. I had expected that would be where the episode was headed. Instead, it ends with a confrontation between the protagonist and a character seen only twice before and, as far as I could see, no reason for anyone to care about his fate one way or another.
• It never really answers the question: why was La Fin... made. Oh, it tells why the director wanted to make it, but it hints at a greater evil backing the project. Why do they (he?) do this? Not to show the film, by all appearances. It all seems so... lackadaisical. Especially for such a destructive film.
  
• There is a certain sense that this is was a larger script paired down to fit the format. Which might explain the end.
• Much is made about how La Fin... changes the seeker. And yet the protagonist doesn't seem that different from beginning to end.

That's about enough of that. Bottom line is that I really can't say I liked the end result. Others might see things a bit differently.

Sphinx Image

Sometimes it's you. Sometimes it's the tools you use. This post contains one of the uglier pictures I've done in recent times. (There's worse coming, if you can believe that...) Part of it is my still learning the craft. Part of it is drawing too heavily. But mainly I blame a crappy eraser.

But that's neither here nor there. Let's talk about our subject for a little bet, hmm? The Sphinx, the riddle master of old. Part human, part lion, all terror. I have a special place in my heart for the Sphinx. One of the characters in my first novel was of the breed, and while I intend to remove her from that text, I have plans for her over all.

Bear in mind that this is only her head. Brother Todd, when he saw the finished image, called her a Cat Person, and, as I told him, that was one way to look at it. I intend a fuller picture, but for now please imagine wings and body with the rest of the head..

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I did this while eating a late late dinner with my parents. (How late? Well, it was only a few hours too early to be breakfast. That's how late.)

I had an earlier Sphinx drawing and I thought to add this head to that body. Using another drawing as reference (again from the How To Draw book), I came up with this. Lioness head, woman's hair and eyes.

I was really digging the picture, but there was something wrong with the eyes. Specifically the one that's all messed up now. You can't believe how depressing that is, coming so close only to mess it up in the end.

Further reflection reveals that the face is lopsided. A longer arc on the right side, or the muzzle being moved over to the left a bit. Outside of that, though, I still think it's one of my better jobs.

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Here is the finished image. More cut and paste via Jasc. The coloration is a slightly interesting tale. I pulled the original color from a picture of an actual lioness. Turned out too brown. I diluted it with yellow for the regular fur and black for the hair.

About the eyes. I emphasized the lashes a bit to reinforce the notion that they were humanoid eyes and not cat's. The purple not only gives her an unearthly appearance, but it also has symbolic weight. Purple is the color of royalty, after all, and what could be more royal than the Sphinx?

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And now, as an additional bonus, the original image. Note we have a human head, as well as additional this or that.

Ah. Er. Yeah.

The reason I didn't go through with my original plan with sticking the new image on to this is that the styles really didn't match. This one's fur is WAY more cartoony and jagged. Partially because that was how I was drawing, partially because the source was a wee picture instead of the large ones I do now.

I could do better now. I know this as fact. Why not either a.) drawn a new body or b.) redraw the whole thing from scratch? Makes more sense to me.

Don't think I'm knocking this picture, mind you. I like it a great deal, especially the expression on her face. The paws, while not "accurate", are especially good; look how the shading individualizes the claws (fingers?). The rest of the body needed work, but that's nothing new. Again, the shading works for me.

It could have been much worse. And, as we will eventually see, it has been worse. Much, much worse...

When Do I Start?

Right now. I write this between thoughts, actually. I've started up another novel, one that will be, I hope, a tad better than the last. Which is the way things should work.

(A slight divergence here: time is improving my opinion of some of the elements of the first one and I think in March sometime I'll print myself a copy and start looking for ways to salvage it. It can't be submitted in its current form, but maybe...)

Iffin there are gaps in updates this month, blame the novel. I hope not - I feel guilty about missing days when I don't have to - but at least it's not computer foul ups.

Something of a Serpent

As a change of pace, more pictures.

Of late I've changed my style a bit. Rather than drawing small, as was my wont, I've began draining big, covering most of the page. I think it's improved things, leaving more room for working on details. I should have done this long ago, but habit seemed stronger.

Anyhoo, the image is of a snake.

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This is the original, shrunk to fit. It has more detail work done than I usual do. I wasn't going to go that far, but after getting so close, I couldn't help myself.

This image, incidentally, is based on one I found in a How-To book I picked up a little while ago. The snake's mouth was closed in it; the tongue I guessed at from another picture on the same page.

While there are faults here and there, it's not a bad job.

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Here is the same image touched up with Jasc. One of the things I thought about after the fact was fangs. Not that I'm planning on adding them, but the thought popped in there. I don't think he needs them In face, he looks darn cheerful to me. In the middle of a conversation, no less.

Perhaps something to this effect...

"Good Morning. Hhhow are you? Ssseemsss like a nisss day, dosssent it?"

"Um. Yeah."

"You ever read 'Rikki Tikki Tavi'?"

"Er. Maybe. Once."

"Good ssstory. Sssad ending, though. I hhhad hhhoped thingsss would hhhave turned out better."

"Em. I can see that."

"Why are you picking up that thunder ssstick? Are you planning to ssshoot me?"

"Ah. Yes. Yes I am. Sorry about that."

"It'sss hhhokay. I wasss planning to bite you with my fangsss."

"Right." BLAM!

Picture and a bit of fiction. Nice.