A Very Special Update

I might be away for a wee bit. See, somehow my computer has been infected with a nasty little progam. It calls itself Viewpoint and alleges that it can help me with my computer needs. This I doubt for two reasons:

1. It downloaded itself on my computer without my asking it, which makes it a virus as far as I am concerned, and
2. It's helpfully taken out my add/remove program function. Insuring I can't uninstall it or, really, anything else.

I am going to reformat my computer, as soon as I can find all of my disks. Until then, I plan to make myself scarce on the internet front. I will be back when I'm back and not before.

This is, of course, when I start getting massive hits and threaten to become famous, only to have it all slip away because I'm gone so long.

So be it.

See you all soon.

Ode to the Lost Notion

I had such plans
For this day
But when I woke
They went away
I wrack my brains
to recall
what thought remained
Both large and small
But that effort
Was in vain
Of those notions
No trace remain
Such is my life
This I fear
To lose ideas
That I hold dear
(Like those notions were really great
If they were they'd not abate
They'd have stayed till they were needed
So without them I'm not defeated)

---

More poetry. I'm starting to wonder if I'm in the right field...

This wasn't the intended output for today, but, as the poem suggests, what I wanted to do wasn't with me just yet. Better to think the grapes were sour than they were ambrosia...

Mad Scientists Archetypes

This is getting to be a theme for the week, if not the month. More Archetypes! I had so much fun doing this for the Psychics, I thought I'd do try Mad Scientists, too. So, without further ado:

---

Banner - A scientist who, while trying to benefit mankind, turns himself into a monster. David Banner of the television series The Incredible Hulk is where the name comes from. His comic book source, Bruce Banner, doesn't qualify, as he was creating a gamma bomb.

Clive - A scientist who, while exploring the outer boundaries of science, creates a monster. He then sets out to insure that said monster is stopped before too much harm is done. Colin Clive's Frankenstein is where the name comes from. Robert Banner also fits here, despite changing into his own monster.

Cushing - scientist who, while exploring the outer boundaries of science, creates a monster. This, he feels, isn't necessarily a bad thing. Peter Cushing's Frankenstein is the source of this archetype.

Jekyll - A scientist who, while exploring the outer boundaries of science, turns himself into a monster. This is just fine with him right up until he starts killing people... or, failing that, when he finds he can't turn back... Henry Jekyll, of Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde^*, is this archetype's namesake.

McCabe - A scientist who creates monsters on whim. It's what he does. Alexander McCabe, of Bats, is such a scientist, and thus gets the archetype name.

Richards - A scientist who runs around inventing incredible things without breaking a sweat. Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four fits this archetype. So does his nemesis, the dread Doctor Doom

Tillinghast - Any scientist who goes out seeking the mysteries of Science and finds some One or some Ones waiting for him... Crawford Tillinghast, from H. P. Lovecraft's From Beyond, lends his name to this Archetype. Come to think about it, a lot of Lovecraft's protagonists would.

---

^* I know, I know. The entry for Jekyll and Hyde even mentions the Hulk as a modern version of the novel. I separated the two for the simple reason Jekyll initially enjoys his Hyde persona while Banner really doesn't.

(Don't Fear) The Boxer

Everybody puts things in boxes in their minds. It's habit, it's nature, it's a survual mechanism, it's what keeps us sane. It makes things easier to cope with. It allows us to dismiss what we don't like and accept what we do. It is wrong, it is right, it is neither, it is both. Even the most open minded among us put things in boxes.

And so do I. As the list of Archetypes grows...

One of my favorite songs is (Don't Fear) The Reaper. The first time I recall hearing it was at the end of The Frighteners. I fell in love with it almost at once. Bought the soundtrack for it, in fact. Later, I learned where the song had originated and that I had heard it once before, in a no-name slasher flick. As of this writing, I own three albums with versions of this song and there's a good chance I might pick up more. There is something about the song that reaches me.

While goofing off one day, I stumbled across the Wikipedia entry for the song, which I have linked above. I was surprised to find that there are those who believe (Don't Fear) The Reaper was about murder-suicide. They point to the reference to Romeo and Juliet as evidence.

The song writer, Buck Dharma says this isn't so. The particular box he wants the song to be in is "eternal love." Which makes far more sense to me. As I recall it, Romeo and Juliet weren't murder-suicide, and besides the lyrics really don't fit that particular conclusion.

However, I have my own interpretation of the song, which I think meshes far better with what Dharma states the song is about.

Let's look at towards the end of the song a moment:

Then the door was open and the wind appeared

The candles blew then disappeared

The curtains flew then he appeared

which is followed by:

And she ran to him...then they started to fly

They looked backward and said goodbye

(she had become like they are)

She had taken his hand

(she had become like they are)

Now I am a man with a certain type of bent. I tend to see things in a certain, shall we say, Fantastic light. And that first portion I quoted I've seen countless times in a specific type of movies.

See, it sounds very much like a vampire who has come for his lover, offering his kiss and the gift it brings. The lover accepts and together they leave the living.

Eternal Romance.

No doubt this is not what Dharma intended.

No doubt this is something only I can see.

And I can accept that. And, for what it's worth, I can accept that I am way, way wrong.

For, see, it can be fun to put literature, art, and song into a box, see if it fits, to learn why it does or does not. For no matter the folding, bending or mutilation, the work survives. It still speaks it's message or lack there of.

In fact, in some cases boxing reflects more on the person with the boxes than the art itself...

---

Small note: I lifted the lyrics from this site, and made a few tweaks here and there. No doubt between the two of us, (Don't Fear) The Reaper has been misrepresented, and I apologize for that fact.

"Strange Dialogue"

I was very tired when I wrote this. I have no idea who these two are or what the hell they're talking about. But I've let it sit as a draft for a good long while and it still tickles me.

And I need more fiction on this site.

---

"We are not doing this."

-->"Doing what?"

"This."

-->"Oh come on! You've always liked it before."

"I've never liked it. Not once."

-->"Really? Why didn't you say something?"

"Didn't want to hurt your feelings."

-->"Oh, well, that's okay. I didn't care for it much either."

"The Hell you say."

-->"No, no. It's true."

"You keep on bringing it up! Every chance you get!"

-->"Only because I thought you liked it. I only liked doing it with you."

"Oh."

-->"So. What are we going to do with all of the pieces now that we're done with it?"

"Dunno. Throw them out?"

-->"Seems wasteful to me. I know! How about we do... This!"

"Oh my dear God."

-->"What?"

"I can't believe you just did that."

-->"What? What's wrong now?"

"That's so... so horrible! It's like I don't even know you!"

-->"Ah. Well."

"Can I try it next?"

The Thing(s) - Review(s)

A group of scientist discover a spacecraft trapped beneath the ice, as well as a passenger that seems to have been thrown clear of the ship. The passenger is brought back to base camp and comes to life, causing havoc and threatening all life as we know it.

The Thing from Another World (from here on out referred to as TfAW) and The Thing are both highly influential Science Fiction movies, which isn't too surprising as they come from one of the classics of the genre, John W. Campbell's "Who Goes There?" Both movies, while straying from the source's plot, use the same setting, have intelligent story lines and compelling plots

A part of the pleasure behind the story is the setting. With all of the action set in the Arctic, the option of quick and easy escape is null and void. On this is the intelligence of the enemy, of its ability to survive far better in the icy environment than it's human prey.

Now if it was just cat and mouse between Home Team Earthlings and Away Team Thing, they would both still be an entertaining set of flicks. However there are additional elements enriching the proceedings. In TfAW a small group of humans work at cross purposes against their own species with disastrous results. Meanwhile, the Thing in The Thing starts off winning by its very insidious nature, with the protagonists struggling to just survive against it.

I would be remiss not to mention one of the more crucial differences between the two movies: The Thing is extradoriarily gruesome. Gorier movies have been made since (I can think of two right off the top of my head right now, with more in queue behind them.) It's not a film for an unsuspecting soul to watch after eating.

In summary, I think both movies are well worth watching. Not only do I recommend them, but I also recommend seeking out "Who Goes There?" It's an excellent read.

---

Fun fact: In 1983, Arthur C. Clarke made a list of what he considered what was then the best Science Fiction Movies. Placing #6 on that list was The Thing. TfAW didn't make his cut. Nor did a little film called E.T. (Though, in fairness, he was still considering that one.)

Fun Fact - the Cassandra Syndrome

I was working on a new post dealing with fabled Cassandra when I discovered the Cassandra Syndrome, which means pretty much what you'd think it means. I thought it was a interesting find, especially after the work I did on the Archetypes.

Stooge

Technically this is not bio, fiction, review, or observation about my chosen fields, and thus outside what this site's about. However, as I am the sole writer and editor of this site (God help me), I get to say what goes on and what doesn't. So bear with me.

As I'm working on an essay a few nights back (relatively speaking), my attention is drawn to a commercial for a Three Stooges DVD. I'm thinking that it's going to be about the new colorized version, but nopers. Just digitally remaster. All your favorites. You know the pitch.

I'm not really listening at that point, so when it happen, I'm caught off guard. The narrator says something to the effect of "Laugh again with these forefathers of comedy." And bang, I'm incensed. I can't believe any one could be so stupid.

I mean, I like the Stooges about as well as anyone. They're no Marx Brothers. Or Burns and Allen. Or Abbott and Costello. Or Charlie Chaplin. Or Harold Lloyd. Or Buster Keaton. Or W. C. Fields. Or Paulie Shore.

(Psych! Just seeing if you're paying attention buh-dee! Everyone knows that Paulie Shore's not a comedian.)

The Stooges were adapt in slapstick and had some of the best puns out there. Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe indeed! Playful violence, playful stories.

But the forefathers of comedy? Please! Any five year old can tell you this isn't the case!

There's ony three of them, after all.

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

Notation - Half a Year

Just a little note to myself - You've kept this journal/blog for a half of a year, Cullen. Good Job!

Okay, back to work...

Sora no daikaijû Radon/Rodan - Review

At first all Shigeru Kawamura has to worry about if creeping floors in his mine at Kitamatsu. Then some of the miners turn up missing. And then some of them turn up dead. The townsfolk believe that one of the miners has turned psycho, but the truth is far more bizarre. They have dug too deep and disturbed a nest of prehistoric insects.

The military, guided by Shigeru, enter the mine. A confrontation insures between insect and man that leaves Shigeru trapped inside with the monsters.

It is then that he learns what trouble really is

Some very minor spoilers over the end here. I doubt it's enough to ruin the movie, or, really, worth mentioning, but I thought I'd give a heads up just in case.

Of the Toho Kaiju I do have my favorite, and it's not Godzilla. Oh, I love Godzilla to death, as my capsule reviews might well indicate. But I've always been partial to Rodan. Especially in San daikaiju: Chikyu saidai no kessen/Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster, where there are scenes where he appears damn sly.

Okay, so it probably just me. Can I help having an over-active imagination?

Rodan's initial film, Sora no daikaiju Radon/Rodan, is, no doubt, the Kaiju's shining hour, and even here he has to share it with another monster. Of course the other monster is a nice morsel compared to him, but still a lot of running time is taken up by the grubs.

Like Gojira/Godzilla before it, Sora no daikaiju Radon is unlike any of its American competition. There are questionable plot points here and there (like why Shigeru and his lady love are present at the end), but the good parts outweigh the bad. If you're a fan of the Kaiju at all, you should get a kick out of this film.

All images are from Rodan and belong to Toho

Psychic Archetype Addendum - Deus Ex and Sisyphus

So Beckoning Chasm mentions Minority Report (the source not the movie) in the comments of the earlier post and I decide it's past time to read the story. I've read very little Phillip K. Dick's stuff, after all. The experience would broaden me. A quick stop at the library, or, failing there, Barnes and Noble, and I'd have what I need.

Only, as I went about my day today, it occurred to me that the movie Minority Report really doesn't fit any of my Archetypes. I supposed it could be placed as an Aversion Therapist, but that didn't feel right. The Aversion Therapist would be those who disbelieved in psychics, and that wasn't the case here.

Cassandra and Anti-Cassandra can't be right; both need the Psychic to be the protagonist, and that's wrong here. Same holds true for the X-man Wannabe.

The In Passing Prophet I didn't even consider, for obvious reasons.

By this point, I was coming up with other stories like Minority Report that didn't fit my little Archetypes. Worse, I remembered Paycheck, which, while not really a story of Psychic phenomena, comes awfully close in the course of the story. (And is another one from Phillip K. Dick! Is the man plotting my ruin from Beyond the Grave?)

All of this could mean only one thing: I missed an Archetype. Or two.

So we have this addendum. If more on the subject comes to me, I'll do it again.

And probably will once I get to Minority Report the story... Curse that Phillip K. Dick!

And so, without further ado, the two new Psychic Archetypes.

---

Deus Ex

Of the two new ones, this one should be the easiest to cover. The Deus Ex has the Protagonist given a set of instructions or items that will help them in future. It's the reverse of In Passing Prophet, as it is the story rather than an element of the story.

To a degree, this can be a bit of a cheat unless done right. Hence the reference to Deus ex Machina.

Paycheck could be considered a Deus Ex.

---

Sisyphus

Sisyphus at first seems to be an odd choice for an Archetype. His life story has nothing to do prophetic visions or the like. In fact, the man was a monster, plain and simple.

But he was also a trickster, one who out-thought the Gods themselves, if only for a brief while. When he was, at last, forced to account for his misdeeds, Sisyphus was set to a single task: rolling a boulder to the top of a hill. But before he ever could, that boulder slipped from his grasp and he'd have to start all over again.

Which brings us to the term. A Sisyphus story has the Protagonist struggling against a prediction he or she knows will come to pass. The film Minority Report fits this idea, as far as I can see.

Psychic Archetypes

And now for something completely different: Psychic Archetypes in Fantastic Fiction. I will once again steal from Stephen King's Tarot idea. He didn't complain last time... Of course, he doesn't know I'm stealing it, either.

In writing this, I've discovered that giving mild spoilers towards several stories endings is unavoidable. I've tried to limit things to a vagueness (Good ending/bad ending) that should preserve some of the joy in reading, but I didn't think I could publish this without some sort of warning. Also, some of the links I give lead to more detailed spoilers. Be warned.

And now, without further ado...

---

Aversion Therapist

In which the protagonists try to prove that a given prophecy is a fraud, to various degrees of effect. Most Ordinary stories use this particular archetype. When they succeed, they fall into the Ordinary category. When they fail, they are in the Fantastic.

Cornell Woolrich's novel Night has a Thousand Eyes falls into the Aversion archetype.

---

Cassandra and Anti-Cassandra

In which no one believes the psychic's predictions, and, when they do, they tend to ostracize the person. The main character in this type of story is always the psychic.

This is by far the most common of Psychic story, stemming from the mythic Cassandra herself. As with the myth, these stories have a tendency to end badly.

Stories that could be considered Cassandra stories include Stephen King's novel The Dead Zone.

The reverse of this would be Anti-Cassandra, in which the psychic doesn't believe his or her own prediction. Again, the main character is always the psychic, and the results are usually not happy.

This particular story is fairly rare. The only example I can think of is Daphne du Maurier's "Don't Look Back."

---

In Passing Prophet

Stories that feature prophecy as a portion of the tale but not the main focus. The final volume of Lloyd Alexander's the Chronicles of Prydain, The High King, deals with a prophecy, but the fulfillment or prevention of the prophecy does not concern the characters.

---

X-man Wannabe

In which the psychic uses his gifts to solve other people's problems. This is done as a rule in conjunction with the police, or some other official body.

This is different from Cassandra as that people, more often than not, believe in his gift. The series Dead Zone could be considered an X-man Wannabe.

---

Last note: When this first went up it contained a ton of spelling goofs, which is inexcusable with how long I had to work on it. I find that I also dread it grammarically, but so far I see no problems.

I apologizes for the errors and won't lie to you. They are going to happen again. I'll try to avoid it, but it's inevitable.

Oh Power Girl!

I have no idea why I like Power Girl. None at all.

I hadn't even heard of her before this year. Part of this was because she is a DC character and I've been big on Marvel for a long time. Even when I did dabble in that part of comicdom, I stuck with my main man Batman. Power Girl hangs with this group called the JSA, and sometimes, the Birds of Prey. My path didn't cross with her once.

And yet, now I can't get enough of her. I've been hunting up information on her past, what she's doing, contemplating drawing sketches. It's depressing, it's sad.

It's comic nerd love.

I'm so embarrassed.

I wasn't like this in my younger days. As a kid I watched Wonder Woman (even had a comic) and the Bionic Woman (even had a comic). When Spider-woman had her cartoon I watched that (and, natch, had a comic or two). Outside of that I was only interested in Spider-man and the Hulk.

As a young teen, my interest grew to a degree. I liked Scarlet Witch, Wasp, Black Cat, Dagger, and, of course, She-Hulk. However, only when they appeared in Spider-man. I never went seeking them out. I never developed a desire to write stories about their super heroic adventures.Power Girl, now. Power Girl's different.

I don't know why I started looking up information on her. I remember the first picture I saw her in, though. The one at right. And I'm certain that it isn't the standard male reason for interest in her character, either. Although, as I have read, Power Girl's... assets have always been one of her big claims to fame.

It was just the dialogue, I guess. A sort of innocence despite the more than a little revealing costume. Like she didn't know quite how stunning she was.

As I've found out, this was a bit of mischaracterization. In truth Power Girl is well aware of her body and the effect it had on the common man. And responds in a depressingly stereotypical display of anger at the rudeness her beauty brings out.

Still, there is potential with the character, especially when you considerer that, when she first appeared, she was an alternate universe version of Supergirl. I keep seeing her as a tom girl Supergirl to the reap one's more straight laced, more Superman-like character.

I realize, of course, that there is a new Supergirl comic out there. And, no doubt, she won't be as straight-laced as she was, nor will Power Girl lose the more annoying bits of her character, although from what little I've seen of her more recent appearances, she seems more my speed of attitude. However, no matter what is going on for her or what will become of her character, I can't help but think of stories for her.

So along with my own various works, I'm thinking up Power Girl stories. As well as Spider-man stories. And Doctor Who Stories. And Godzilla stories.

(Especially Spider-man/Power Girl crossovers.... And... And... And this is all too sad.)

Power Girl and her likeness all belong to DC

Image

And things are back to normal. And after all that work learning Rebus!

But for how long, he wonders. How long? The fortunes of the computer user hing upon the whim of the Computer Gods. Sooner or later something is BOUND to go HORRIBLY WRONG.

Oh well. Worry about it when it comes.

We now return to the usual stuff and nonsense.

+++++We%seee the path two future+++++ ordernoW!+++++

Imageless

Fun, fun, fun.

On this date, I began working on a new essay. I uploaded a picture and guess what? No image appeared. I went looking through my site and, again, no images. Or, rather, some images are there, some are not. Some vanish then return. All are these I used Blogger's picture system to place here

After hitting my e-mail sites in case this is my fault and I had received a warning of some sort, I click where the image should be and get this message:

You are not authorized to view this page

You might not have permission to view this directory or page using the credentials you supplied.

If you believe you should be able to view this directory or page, please try to contact the Web site by using any e-mail address or phone number that may be listed on the photos1.blogger.com home page.

You can click Search to look for information on the Internet.

HTTP Error 403 - Forbidden Internet Explorer

Very good. I'm getting somewhere. Though I don't know why I'm forbidden.

I try contacting the website as per instructed. I'm not mad or anything (I'm still not, for that matter). I just want to a.) alert the site masters to the problem and b.) find out what happened.

I go to a page with this message:

This server speaks in pictures.

That's it. No other information.

So I'm now learning Rebus in the hopes of getting this mess straightened out. I'll let you know how it turns out...

The Hell...?! (I) - Bizarre Crossovers into the Final Frontier

I've been bothering Brother Eric with a series of weird comics, anime and the like I've discovered on the web. As I, on occasion, find myself at a lost for words, I figure I would start a running series of mini-essays about these things. Get a bit of a backlog, maybe, and have something in reserves so I can keep a daily scheduale. (Let's all laugh at Cullen's foolish notions. Laugh I said!)

To get us started, and to prepare you all for what may follow in furure, I give you this scene: a moment of melee between the X-man Wolverine and the Vulcan Science Officer Mr. Spock:

I lifted this actual, honest to God image from the site Dave's Long Box, which covers a wide variety of comics. The comic in particular is called Star Trek/X-men, and I have never seen anything quite like it. The art work Dave shows looks like it was cut and pasted from two different sources. I thought it was a joke at first, before doing a bit of research. See, this particular book spawned a sequel (!), which spawned another sequel(!!), this time a Star Trek: Next Generation novel (!!!) called Planet X.

The curious can follow the links and see what each story is about. Me, I'm terrified beyond the possiblity of rational thought. I'm going to hide somewhere... somewhere safe...

The included image comes from Star Trek/X-men.

It is in no way the work of Cullen M. M. Waters

Y is Tired/X is Dead

Vampires are dead. Nothing more can be said about them.

Elves are tired. Do not stir them from the fields they know.

Dragons are tired. Let their leathery wings flap no longer.

Every so often when reading about the various Fantastic, I stumble across a "Y is Tired/X is Dead" remark. Some writer or critic thinks an aspect of the genres or an entire genre has been over done and needs to be put out of its misery or at the very least given a nice long holiday. I didn't think much for this type of attitude the first time I came across it, and the years since has worn it done to a severe irritation.

In the first place, as a rule of thumb the person making the "Y is Tired/X is Dead" is either:

1. A writer who has written in a genre for so long that he/she has burnt out on the subject, or
2. Someone who has never particularly liked Y or X in the first place.

Neither one is particularly objective gauge for such matters. Of course, if someone was happy or enthused about the subject, they wouldn't be saying it in the first place.

Secondly, all it takes to revitalize a subject matter is someone with enough talent and/or a new angle on things. Take Vampires, for instance. Towards the end of Fifties the monster had been sucked dry, becoming more or less a joke. Along comes Hammer Studios with the notion that they could make a good product with a serious script, more gore and more sexuality. Lo the Vampire revitalizes.

By the seventies came around, the vein looked tapped once more. Then Salem's Lot and Interview With a Vampire were published and the Undead rose once more to plague the living. And so on, through out the decades.

Hell, this cycle stretches back beyond the fifties into the 1800's. Dracula should be proud.

Finally, the notion that any concept can been mined completely is daft beyond words. Take the Elf. For the sake of argument, let's say that since Tolkien and Lord of the Rings there have been a thousand stories concerning Elves. They may all be clichéd romps in green tights, they might be in depth dissertation into the nature of the Fae. It doesn't matter.

Now let's take the same time period and count the number of stories focused on plain old Humanity. On second thought, let's not. The number's bound to be higher, isn't it? Elves are confined pretty much to Fantasy while Humans, they are everywhere. Crack a book spine and you no doubt will see one or two of the blighters roaming about.

The same point can be made again with Vampires, with Dragons, with whatever monster, race, or creature you can think of in the genre of your choice. The stories about Humanity out way them all, and not once, not once have I read or heard anyone suggesting writers stop writing about Humanity. If other wells can run dry, surely this has. We should be writing about bunnies by now, or the sex-life of golf balls.

The "Y is tired/X is dead" remark is the enemy creativity. Should other avenues outside Elves, Vampires, and the like be used? Of course. But don't shackle others over something you personally don't want to read more about.

Manic Wednesday

Wednesday is a busy day at best, but today was a bit more so. SO no post for today. (With one minute left in the day, no duh, right?)

Tomorrow might be as bad, but I think I'll get something up. I think it will be called "X is Dead." But who knows? This is Whim City, USA.

Be seeing you.

So as There is No Confusion Later...

The Cullen Waters who posts at Cullen's Blog is in no way the Cullen Waters who posts here at Welltun Cares Presents. It is just a fantastic coincidence.

One that I was unaware I was waiting my whole life for, but a coincidence nonetheless.

Bloody Vikings (III) - Charlie Brown's Got an E-mail... Or Ten

If there is an opportunity to make money, the spammer will take it. Especially if said spammer is a spambot. Everything is at risk from high profile message boards to low frequency places like... Well, like Welltun Cares Presents.

It still surprises me that it happened, which is, I know, naive. I read recently that sixty percent of the blogs on Blogger are dedicated to spam. Sixty percent. Who knows how many spam sites are out there busily peddling their nonsense?

Like most everything, it's funnier taking note of other people's spam woes than dealing with the crap yourself. One day alone I received nearly ten spamessages for a single entry, which is, for this place, like a thousand or so. Do you know what it's like for a sad, lonely man to find out he's popular, only to learn that's just random trash?

It hurts. Sniffle.

Still, being who I am, I took some perverse pleasure in the attention. SO, for the remainder of this essay, I would like to talk about some of my favorite spam. Talk, as in poke fun at mercilessly.

(Well, as near to poking merciless fun as I can get...)

---

This blog is awesome! If you get a chance you may want to visit this Free Software Downloads [link removed] site, it's pretty awesome too!

This is pretty much the typical spam message I received. First the complement meant to bowl me over (not good, not great, but awesome!) then the pitch. Never mind that what was being pitched never seemed to match what the site was about, or even what was being said.

This key clue I finally learned: if the poster thinks the site was "awesome" they generally don't post as Anonymous.

---

Hospitals Increasingly Using RFID, Says StudyAlthough costs, network coverage, and privacy issues are a concern, hospitals are increasingly turning to RFID technology for use in various applications, according to a new study from Spyglass Consulting Group ...

Hey, you have a great blog here!

I have a homemade guinea pig cages [link removed] site. It pretty much covers homemade guinea pig cages related stuff.

Here's another typical one. A little more personalized ("I checked out your site, check out mine!"). I've come close to falling for this one myself, actually. I halfway expect Anonymous to write "Well screw you! I thought you'd like it!"

Except, of course I have no idea why anyone coming to this site would think I had an interest in guinea pig cages.

Oh, and the complete incongruous first paragraph which isn't connected to anything I posted or even the main thrust of the comment. That might have also been a small hint.

I mean, can anyone explain why that first paragraph is even there? To fool someone into thinking someone other than Onknee Spambot?

Honestly.

---

And now, to conclude this look at spam, my all-time favorite. The one I keep reading, keep shaking my head in disbelief at. The one. The only. The Should Probably.

I like your blog. Very nice! I should probably bookmark it for later.

Should probably? What does that mean? What sort of burning hoops do I need to leap through to get you to bookmark me? As obviously liking the site isn't good enough? Do I need to eat swords? Do a little dance? Make a little love? Get down tonight?

Build guinea pig cages?

What?

TELL ME WHAT MUST I DO TO PLEASE YOU?!

I NEED TO KNOW!!

I NEEEED TO!!

Cause I'm just dying to know. Really. I'm on bated breath and everything.

Oh wait. I've got word verification up and you can't respond.

Nevermind.

---

Postscript: Shortly after posting this, I went onto my old Excite account to do a bit of cleaning. I should let the thing die, I know, but it's one of the last connection to my High School I have and for some reason I'm loathe to severe it (and, funnily enough, loathed to change my e-mail listing to my current service.)

I find in the Spam section of my mail box a runner up to Should Probably. It's subject was on pharmaceuticals drugs. It's sender? "Doctor". Just that. Doctor.

Puh-lease.

Perception: The Mock Poster Lesson

The problem started with plain old fashioned procrastination. I'll do the post later, I'll do the post after I do this post. Which is the problem with writing essays based on whim.

Then came the case of the stubborns. An area of my essay had already been covered and covered well. Yet I was going to have my say on it. It didn't matter that what I was going to say was going to cover the same ground. I was going to do it. I had to do it.

Which is why this post is so very late.

Rather than cover said ground again, I would like to talk about perception and the duty of the Artist on that regard. This would have been the second part of the original essay, had I ever reached it.

The very first mock poster I did, the If You Must Fear Something... (referred to from here out as Fear) linked at left. It is the best of the bunch and the truest to what I was trying for: it looks like an ad for either a movie or a book. There are other considerations commented on elsewhere, but that's the truest one for me. It does it's job.

Unfortunately it doesn't do it that well.

I'm going to quote a portion of Beckoning Chasm's essay to begin illustrating it's problem (and I hope there's no problem with this, as I not only see where he's coming from but think it's an excellent interpretation of the image):

The image sparks a series of questions, such as, what is going on? Is the green hand a menace, a friend, or a warning voice? Does the young girl know about the hand? Would a green hand, here in this world, be considered "normal" or not? Are we in Kansas still, or elsewhere? What happens next?

Chasm made a similar comment while discussing one of the other posters, and when I read it, my jaw dropped. I went back, looked at the picture, read my little bit, and saw.

The duty of the artist, be the artist an illustrator, a writer, a painter, or what have you, is to present the work in such a way that it can be understood. Sometimes the work is to be enjoyed by a select few, sometimes by the masses. Sometimes the meaning the artist intends is crystal clear, sometimes it's ambiguous. So on and so forth.

The most important thing any artist must consider is that if the work has a meaning, there must be enough information there for the audience to make the interpretation or interpretations that the artist intends. (Wotta unwieldy sentence! Curse the day "he" stopped being the generic, catch-all pronoun!)

If the information is not there, it's not the audience's fault for coming to a "wrong" conclusion. It is a failure to communicate, and as it is the artist speaking to the audience, it is the artist who is "wrong".

Assuming blame needs to be placed, of course. Is it more important that the work is enjoyed or that it is "understood"?

Philosophy aside, in the case of Fear, I left out key information with the picture. A part of the problem is that it started out as a picture for me and not the world at large, but that could have been corrected in the accompanying text.

No, the real problem was that I knew what it all meant, to a degree. I suspected who the green hand was, but I knew who the hand was reaching for. This was my main protagonist, who I have been thinking about and refining for five years. I've drawn so many pictures in the process... In fact, too many. To the point where I'm assuming facts not in evidence.

To illustrate, here's the same character (drawn a year or so ago) in a better lit setting:

You could imagine my surprise when I found this young man being called a young girl. But that's just it. Looking back at Fear, it's all as clear as glass. The long hair. The slit sleeve shirt I insist on giving him (which looks so much like a blouse). The foggy setting, in which no perspective is given to height. The picture is very much a young girl about to encounter the supernatural as it is a young man.

It is an absolutely fascinating failure to communicate. I wish half my failures were as good as that. Most, however, are not.

For instance, when I was but a wee young boy, I drew a picture of Jaws the Shark attacking Mighty Godzilla. I showed this masterpiece to my father and asked him who would win in the coming melee.

"The shark," Dad said, to my amazement. When I expressed my disbelief that a mere shark could defeat the King of the Monster, he pointed out just how I had positioned Jaws. And I had to agree, if in rueful embarrassment, that he was right. If Godzilla didn't move quick, he'd become a eunuch.

I wonder how many times I'll need to learn this particular lesson in order to retain it...

The images used in this essay are all Cullen M. M. Waters' work

Three Images, Two Drawings, One Character

More delays on the Mock Poster Essay, I'm afraid. I'd like to say you can't rush Art, but in truth you can rush Art. You can rush it lots. It just won't be worth much when it's done.

Worse comes to worse, I skip it for now and finish the Spam essay. Better than than a bad essay.

Instead of the promised essay, I thought I'd show how I've been improving in terms of drawing. What follows is character design for a protagonist who, as it happens, has nothing to do with the Mock Posters and the stories they try to represent

---

This was drawn... I'm thinking three to four years ago. I'm only putting up this rough form as all my attempts to retouch it have ended in embarrassment. Still, nothing to be ashamed of here. One ear might be a little too high and the like, but still not bad.

---

This (the same character) was drawn a month or so back. My scanner isn't functioning right now, so I've been using a digital camera. It makes the whole thing way too hazy, but what can you do?

---

This is the finished picture, touched up and cleaned up with Jasc Paintshop. For the most part, I use Jasc to sort of "ink" my lines, as well as take out what specks the scanner (or in this case the camera) puts in. In this case, unless I'm misremebering things, I didn't "ink"; these are all the original lines

I try not to do a lot of cutting and pasting, to keep the "cheat" feeling down. However, in this case I did cut and paste several times. Still, it doesn't look to far gone from the original, does it?

---

The last image is what I aspire to be capable of without Jasc's help, the middle image is where I'm at (which I think is damn close to target), and the first image wasn't appreciated when I did it.

All images the work of Cullen M. M. Waters

Where in the World is Cullen Waters?

At home, actually, fooling around with HTML. Because I know so little. For instance, today I learned about ^superscript. So now I can right first as 1^st and have it actually look like first. Hurrah!

Which will be useful, considering the number of times I need to use it.

Which is next to never.

Which is beside the point. Kind of.

I was planning on putting up the promised "Mock Poster Lessons". Beckoning Chasm, over at Crap and Garbage in Violent Opposition, has written up an excellent criticism on the posters which makes my handling the matter ever so much easier. I was eagerly looking forward to putting up an essay that was one post long...

And then I made the mistake of reading some political commentary on anther site. Now I'm a seething cloud of hatred. So when that passes, I hope to get things going again. Of course, whim might take me elsewhere.

Of all the places it will take me, political debate will never be a destination. For the record, I am firmly an Independent with a willingness to listen to either side of the political spectrum, provided that said side actually is making a point and not just carping on how evil/wrongheaded/stupid the other side is. Unfortunately, more often than not I feel like the animals at the end of Animal Farm: I look from one party to the next and see so little difference between the two. Both will claim to be looking out for the country's interests, both will point out the faults of the other party (valid or otherwise), but when it comes to their own faults it's nothing but excuses, double talk, and the ever popular "the other guy is doing this and that," as if what the other guy is doing excuses things.

The United States of America has it's problems internally and externally. And all of it's politicians are spending their time screaming "They did it! They did it!" while taking what they can get from the pockets of the tax payers.

And the capper on all of this is that I enjoy politics from a historical perspective as well as in a Fantastic one. The schemes, the maneuvering, all of it, just fascinating. In many ways it's better than watching Hero X take on Monster Y in full fledge battle.

It's just when it affects my life and the lives of my fellow humans that I tend to lose my fondness.

But I'm not going let whim make me talk about politics. No sir, not one word.

Yep.

Man of steel, that's me.

Pointless ranting (and no doubt naive political opinions) aside, I fully intend to get my thoughts up on the Mock Posters, finish my essay on the rash of spam attacks (now with amusing anecdote!), and work towards the end of my Inspiration series. And then who knows? More movie reviews? More prose? Poetry that isn't Haiku? More art work?

We shall see.

Assuming I can keep myself from reading political double talk between then and now...

Godzilla!

Boy, am I posting up a storm today, but I thought this picture was too good not to share. Now that's what I aspire towards.

Well, that and novelist. And Speed Racer, of course. Everybody wants to be as good as Speed Racer.

(Haiku of wide variety located below. In case anyone cares...)

The Smurf Haiku

Gargamel:

Tiny blue and white streaks

dart 'cross my lawn, taunting me

How I hate them all!

---

Azrael:

Meow meow mur

Raow meow pft pft pft

Mur meow purr purr!

---

Haiku Smurf:

Run through the tall grass

Listen to him howl and smurf

He'll never catch us

---

Gargamel:

Squirming in my grasp

Shocked look upon his small face

Sadly just a dream

The Cthulhu Haiku

His dreams stir the night

Poets tremble, mountains moan

and Death dreams of Death

Or

Troubled nights come

Forgotten island appears

dead Cthulhu waits

---

These two are inspired by Call of Cthulhu, obviously. The first I took a further bit of inspiration from the couplet:

That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die.

The second, this single sentence, "In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."

If Call isn't Lovecraft's best, then it's damn close. Despite the rather silly end.

The Raven Haiku

His shadow enshrouds

my feeble soul, smothering

me forevermore

---

The impish, foolish part of me gloats that I have done in three lines what took Poe dozens to say. But the wise part of me makes sure Poe's Poem is nowhere near for me to compare with...

My Cousin Emily

Beyond the Little Brothers Eric and Jason Todd, I seldom talk about family at any great length (and even they don't get that much space.) Not that my family isn't important to me, or that they aren't worth talking about. It's just that the Blog wasn't really intended for that much biographic or day-to-day stuff. With Ego Boost Week alone I've done more yaking about myself than I really intended.

However, for this entry I intend to speak of my cousin Emily.

Emily is a good, kind girl twelve years younger than myself who is very much the little sister I never had. And I treat her as such whenever and as often as I can.

Which is another way of saying that I'm mean to her.

Very, very mean.

She takes my cruelty with good grace more often than not. I often hope she sees me as the big brother she never wanted or needed. Sometimes I vow to her that I will be nicer, kinder, or, at the very least, silent. She knows full well, however, that this is a promise I will not keep. There is something about teasing her that I just can't resist.

What she doesn't realize, of course, is that in all truth I am quite sweet towards her. The aforementioned Little Brothers could tell Emily horror stories about the absolute depths I can sink to. They never will, however, as I have dirt on how far they can sink.

Blackmail can work for you, too, he snickers.

Anyways, part of the reason I introduce my cousin Emily to this blog because, well, I introduced her to this blog. I gave her the address and told her that any time she thought I was oh too mean to her innocent self, she could come here and Tell All. I figure I have nothing here THAT offensive to read (unlike, say, at least one of my brothers). Hell, my mom reads my site on a regular basis. How bad could it be?

If Emily does come telling tales, in all odds what she says is going to be true. I'm fairly terrible towards her and should treat her better. Well, at least a wee bit better. Maybe.

I don't expect her to show up here, however. I expect her to take the page I wrote my blog address down on and throw it away. She's really got more important things to do with her life. She's studying to be a nurse, and I am positive she'll be a good one, even though I might tell her that I'm going to move to another state rather than risk having her treat me.

If she does show... Well, see, that's the other reason I'm writing this. I hope that she sees the title of this post and think, even if for only a moment, "What did he say about me?"

Told you I was mean to her.