30 July 2005

A Harry Potter Fan "Tragedy"

Consider this. Somewhere out there exists a woman significantly ticked off that she lost a costume contest. She dressed up in exacting detail as a character from "Harry Potter" in order to win the right to open the first box and get the very first "Half Blood Prince" from her local bookstore. But they don't pick her; instead, they pick a little kid in a lesser quality outfit.

Now having as an adult never dressed up as a character from a book, movie, or TV show, I can not really comment on how I would react if I lost to a lesser made outfit. But no matter what my stance may or may not be, I'd like to think I'd enter a contest like that, a contest for a children's book no less, expecting a kid would be the one to win. I'd go for the fun of it and if I won, that'd be neat, that would be great, but that would be it.

This outcome apparently never entered this worthy's tiny mind. In fact, she blamed the whole thing on "blatant breederism".

Blatant breederism.

I read those two words and I still don't believe I've read them.

This is a quote from her, lifted from her posting by way of someone else's cut and pasting. I've edited out her language as I'm intent on keeping the main page as PG as possible:

I ****** hate breeders and child-lovers. ****** GO TO HELL.

I'm so ******** about this, sorry. It's just that in ten years time, this kid won't remember what she was doing on July 16th 2005. In ten years time, I will be remembering how I was deprived of this nerdly honor by an opportunistic **** breeder and her ****ling. I'm hurt. All my life, nothing has gotten to me more than being deliberately ignored, or passed over. Honestly; that's the sort of thing that can make me cry in public. Or key your car. Or viciously murder you and your family in the heat of frustration and never-ending denial Congratulations breeders, you win.

You know, if she didn't go around with "Not a Breeder" tattooed to her forehead, maybe the breeders wouldn't know and then not pick on her. Poor thing.

I mean, her whole post was full of this sort of drivel. In the course of my life, I've been a self-centered little idiot myself more than once and, I must admit, from time to time I still lean that way. But I think this woman makes me look damn saintly.

She makes everyone look saintly.

And all of this childish ranting over "Harry Potter". A book aimed at and about, in her words, "crotch droppings." Written by a woman who is a breeder thrice over. It hurts my head, it's so stupid. It makes me want to run out and breed out of spite.

The obvious capper would be to say: well, at least she's out of the gene pool. But the thought of her running around, the possibility of more like her being out there, sucks some of the joy out of punch-linehline. The damage has been done, I'm afraid.

Creatures like that give fans a bad name.

29 July 2005

28 July 2005

The Dark Crystal - A Review

Bottom Line:
Loved It
Watch It Every Now and Then

A young Gelfling boy named Jen is given a final task by his beloved master: Find a specific Crystal Shard and heal something known as the Dark Crystal. The only help he is given before the master dies is the location of someone named Aughra.

Meanwhile, the rulers of Jen's land, the cruel Skeksis, have only just replaced their dead Emperor when they are warned about Jen's quest. Frightened by this youth's very existance, they pit all of their vast resources into killing him...

My God, has it been over twenty years since the release of The Dark Crystal? It doesn't seem that long ago; it seems both longer and shorter. I watched this in the theaters. I had the novelization. Hell, I even had the board game (one of the few childhood games that I remember in which every player could lose; I miss that game.)

While the basic story holds no real surprises for anyone familiar with the various troupes of Fantasy, it is the way those troupes are presented that make the movie. The world of the Dark Crystal is a vast, wonderful place, filled with tiny details. Everything was created by Jim Henson and his company from designs by artist Brian Froud, and even after so long the work stands up quite well. On this are the various little touches on character (Jen's trying to impress with his knowledge of letters; the Skeksis Chamberian in, well, pretty much every scene his in).

It was and is one of the best Fantasy Movies ever made, and well worth watching.

27 July 2005

The Creature Walks Among Us - A Review

Bottom Line:
Liked It
I Seldom Watch It
I watched The Creature Walks Among Us yesterday, one of the forgotten gems of the Universal Monster Movies. It stars Jeff Morrow and Rex Reason as a part of a group of scientist who capture the Creature from the Black Lagoon and experiment on the same. It's not as good as it's two predecessors, The Creature from the Black Lagoon and Revenge of the Creature, but few movies are.
It's also sets itself fairly well apart from its companion films, and that's besides the fact it wasn't filmed in 3-D. There is no overt romance, for starters, and, in many ways, the Creature isn't the real threat in the film. There is also one other way it's unique, but as that's a spoiler, I'll keep as a footnote at the end of this review.
I recognized Rex Reason straight off as the hero from This Island Earth, but not Jeff Morrow, whom, without the gigantic forehead doesn't look like the heroic alien Exeter at all. I did remember, however, that Morrow was in The Giant Claw, so I guess my Bad Movie Fan cred is untarnished.
Actually, this seems to be the about the last gasp of Sci Fi goodness (could not quite write greatness) for either actor. Reason's next genre effort would be an episode of "Star Trek", while Morrow had the interesting Kronos before descending towards drek like the aforementioned Claw and (shudder) Octaman. Both are fairly decent as the Heroic Scientist (Reason) and the Slightly Mad Doctor (Morrow)
I would be remiss in not mentioning the beautiful Leigh Snowden. While the Creature doesn't seem to be very interested in her, I thought she did very well at being mistreated by various cast members and parading around in skimpy outfits. Screams well, too.
All in all, not a bad flick.



Here is the spoiler on the other way this film is unique...

...

...

The Creature doesn't die, or, at least, his death is only implied. The last we see of him, he's heading off towards the sea, wounded but unbroken. While there is talk that his gills are permanently damaged, and that if he tried to breathe water, he would die, the scientist who said it had a bad habit of being wrong about pretty much everything.

I kind of like the thought of the Creature heading back home. In this film, if nowhere else, he is more sinned against than anything else.

24 July 2005

Gene Wolfe Quotes

Gene Wolfe is one of the giants of Fantasy Literature, and I have read next to nothing by him! Which, for reason or reasons unknown, fascinates and amuses me to no end.

I can honestly tell you that I've read one short story by him; I may have read more*, but not realized who I was reading. (I've done that before, specifically with Harlan Ellison). I can't teven ell you what the one story's title is. It's realtively new, dealing with a Victorian age child's encounter with a vampire. It's one of the best vampire stories I have ever read.

Vauge remembrances a side, I was doing a bit of surfing toaday and stumbled across two quotes from him that I thought worth sharing/talking about. They are as follows:

All novels are fantasies. Some are more honest about it

I've had this exact thought. I find that very cool.

I’m not nearly as good a writer at e-mail as I am on paper. I’m an old-fashioned guy. I need time to print it out and look at it and revise, scratch my head, pencil out words and pencil in words. The computer drives me nuts. I always remind people who talk about how writing is going to be revolutionized by the computer that Shakespeare wrote with a feather that he had to resharpen every page or so, and look what he did!

You look at a lot of the major writers of the fantastic from years past, and you'll see that a lot of them share this sentiment. You get locked into doing something a certain way if you do it long enough.

Which is why its wise to be able to write in as many different ways as you can. On the computer, on a regulation typewritter, by hand. Just to keep yourself from being locked into one way or another.

My definition of good literature is that which can be read by an educated reader, and reread with increased pleasure

Me, I think if you have readers reread your works for pleasure, period, you've done your job as a writer.


*FUTURE CULLEN SEZ: I have read another Gene Wolfe story. "Seven American Nights" in Dark Descent. Shows you what kind of memory I have...

22 July 2005

Where this Blog is Going

I haven't got a clue. Seriously. Not an inkling. Everything I thought it would be has fallen to the wayside. At one point I had a link up to a "Statement of Intent"; now the statement of intent is so out of date that I'm seriously considering removing it. Hell, I'm think of doing a whole bunch of editing and reworking of the entire site.

I've intended fiction that's never gone up, essays that died cruel deaths, and art that is questionable at best. Some of the first few posts embarrass me. And I don't know what I'll do next.

You know what? No of that bothers me a bit. I'm still posting. I haven't given it up. I hope to keep it up for a full year. Maybe even more than that, if the Fates are kind and the mind still willing.

For whatever reason, it's still fun. And that's what matters.

I intend to get to the final part of "Inspiration" soon.

I intend to post a review or two, and maybe some better art.

I intend to write a proper introduction to who I am.

I intend to return to the post a day schedule.

But I can't say when I'm going to do it.

You shouldn't run a railroad without a plan, a business without a strategy, or a life without an idea of where you'll end up. But a blog... now that you can play with...

See you soon.

20 July 2005

Fun Facts About 20 July

On this date, 66 years ago, the great actress Diana Rigg was born.

On this date, 36 years ago, the first man stepped out on the moon.

On this date, 32 years ago, the actor Bruce Lee died.

On this date, 32 years ago, I was born.

May everyone enjoy the remainds of the day.