Fantastic Writers - Dean Koontz

For this little essay, I find myself entering spoiler country on a few novels. I will try to limit the details a touch and not mention which books they come from, as to maintain their secrets.

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I will never read another Dean Koontz novel.

I keep telling myself that. No more.

And yet...

See, at one point I was a BIG Koontz fan. Buying books left and right. Renting them from the library. Enjoying myself to no end.

And then, bit by bit, I grew disenchanted with his stories.

Only that's not quite right. The very first Koontz novel I read I had a problem with. Small one. A single sentence stating that the protagonists learned how to use submachine guns in preparation for the final conflict with the antagonist. It killed the novel for me in two ways. The first is that it significantly reduced the threat level of the antagonist for me. The second is that this is telling of the worst sort.

The ones after that weren't as extreme as that. At least at first. As I read his works, though, I would hit some of the same little bumps. Here's a partial list. Two of these appeared in the same book; they've been separated as not to spoil things too badly.

• One book had two characters listing social ills to each other. This terrible thing happened, that terrible thing happened, the other terrible thing happened. Preach, preach, preach, preach, preach. Before long I just wanted them to shut up. And that was only the first time they did it.
  
• One book had the solution to the story's main problem dropped in the protagonists' laps with a resounding thump. Which was too bad, as I was enjoying myself.
• One book had a protagonist virtually pull a Star Wars Laser satellite System out of her back pocket. I kid you not.
• One book had a super powerful antagonist killed by a dog. This wasn't as bad as, say, another writer's book (we'll call this weener Godawful as not to spoil things. Not that Godawful doesn't deserve spoiling, but that's beside the point.) In the Koontz novel, the dog was at least a character, while in Godawful the animal in question came out from nowhere to end the book. Still, it smacks of Deus ex Machina to me.
• One book was an almost exact copy of an earlier Koontz book. Down to the end. And the bear of it all was that the first book was so much neater than the second...

Finally there was this one novel where one scene had a cat and dog were poking fun at the stereotypical cat/dog relationship. I read that scene and rebelled outright. No more, no more. Enough is enough. No more Koontz books. Please.

All of this looks like I'm really down on the man's work. I'm not, really. I wouldn't have brought him up here if I was. He can be a most excellent writer. It's just I've been burned too often to feel totally comfortable picking up his books.

I will say this: I have slipped on this vow in two respects. The first is that with the rerelease of some of his previous books, Koontz has been adding Afterwords talking about aspects of the novel. These are most entertaining and informative, well worth checking out.

The second is that I have read a Koontz novel since vowing never again. It was called The Face. Supernatural happenings surround the bodyguard of a famous movie actor, that sort of thing. I found it gripping while reading it, raved about it even, but after it was done I could not for the life of me say why I liked it.

It's enough to give me a bit of pause about the vow. Maybe one more... One day...

Or not. Who can say?

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Here's a list of Dean Koontz novels I remember liking a great deal. Bear in mind that it's been a while since I read them.

• The Face of Fear - In a deserted office building, a madman stalks a psychic and his girlfriend. The only way to escape is by using mountain climbing gear and rappelling down to the street.
• Darkfall - A police detective must find a way to protect his children from invincible imps from Hell. I remember considering this very Lovecraftian back in the day, but I also remember not being able to reread it for some reason. Still, talking about it here makes me want to dig the sucker out and try again.
• Hideaway - A man comes back from a near death experience with a little more than he started with. He is pursued by another who went through a similar experience and returned with some as well. The afterwords for this novel I found most interesting.