Not every story needs romance. This is a given. In fact, sometimes the romantic stuff stalls a nicely purring engine and leaves you stuck waiting to start back to wherever you were headed. However, sometimes a bit of sap adds a certain flavor to the proceedings.
And then there are the stories where it's all about the romance, but yuck! Who wants to write about that?
Juvenile (and untrue) outbursts aside, this series is going to be on my various thoughts about Romance in fiction. There will be no outline to follow, as per usual, and it will no doubt will putter out into a long embarrassed silence filled with regrets.
Sort of like the last time I asked a female out on a date.
But hopefully with more intentional laughter and less hysterical type laughter.
Cause I'm sick of that.
Anyway, we start with what I don't like about Romance in Fiction and we'll move from there.
And then there are the stories where it's all about the romance, but yuck! Who wants to write about that?
Juvenile (and untrue) outbursts aside, this series is going to be on my various thoughts about Romance in fiction. There will be no outline to follow, as per usual, and it will no doubt will putter out into a long embarrassed silence filled with regrets.
Sort of like the last time I asked a female out on a date.
But hopefully with more intentional laughter and less hysterical type laughter.
Cause I'm sick of that.
Anyway, we start with what I don't like about Romance in Fiction and we'll move from there.
Why Not St. Valentine's Day?
The most obvious question I can think of is "Why this week? Why not last week when it was, y'know, more topical?" The reason is simple: my family doesn't believe in Valentine's Day. Like at all. Dear Cousin Emily referred to it as a card holiday, and while I was surprised my sweet cousin didn't get in to that sort of thing, I couldn't argue.
Now if I should gain a Significant Other (perish the thought!) I might make an effort for her sake, but I will never be comfortable until after it passes. Not since I started thinking of it as Dump the Chump day. See, I know someone who was dumped by their Valentine on that very day. Not once, but twice. Each time after he gave them their gift. Most harsh.
Brother Eric absolutely loathes the holiday. With a passion. For reasons that might well have to do with a previous paragraph. Maybe. I'm not saying one way or the other. His reasons are his own. But there are two of them. Just so you know.
(That'll teach him not to be a regular reader of this blog...)
Now it's clear I'm not in the majority here, considering the continued and lasting popularity of Romeo and Juliet. Which I must confess I can't understand in the slightest. Here's a play about two kids drowning in hormones who meet a couple of times and decide that life isn't worth living without each other's company. It isn't a tragedy; it's Darwinism cleaning up the gene pool. If they could have take the Nurse with them it could have been a hat trick.
We had to read Romeo and Juliet in high school, along with that other anti-romance, Wuthering Heights, in high school, and I'm still bitter about it. What an education. Of course, we also got to read The Maltese Falcon, Hound of the Baskervilles, and Frankenstein, so my school was pretty damn cool. But I was happier before Romeo and the ever so "charming" Heathcliff. Much happier.
Small note before I move on to the next peeve. While this is the first portion of the series published, it is actually the second written. The original post deals with what I consider the Greatest Romantic Movie in All Fantastic Film, and wouldn't you know it? A variation on the One Hour Romance. Like everything, if the end result is entertaining, I can overlook my dislikes.
Sometimes.
I like Romantic Triangles and Quadrangles myself. Picking out who I would prefer the protagonist end up with, rooting for or against, all adds spice to the proceeding. I like the possibility that the Wrong One might be chosen. Or that I chose the wrong one.
Of course, most modern Romances aren't in the Fantastic field, so I'd have little use for them anyways, but that's neither here nor there...
GAAAH!
I had an example, but it's in territories Welltun Cares Presents has yet to tread. In general terms, it's a video game. In specific terms, it's one of the worst I have ever played. I considered using it as an example, but my Hate hasn't died enough on it. Apparently.
So, no examples!
Yeah. Writing by whim works real well.
Next time, we'll cover what I enjoy in Romance (probably a shorter piece) and move on to The Greatest Romantic Movie in All Fantastic Film (which, excusing a slight rewrite, is done.) That should be that... though I might continue if I can think of more...
Now if I should gain a Significant Other (perish the thought!) I might make an effort for her sake, but I will never be comfortable until after it passes. Not since I started thinking of it as Dump the Chump day. See, I know someone who was dumped by their Valentine on that very day. Not once, but twice. Each time after he gave them their gift. Most harsh.
Brother Eric absolutely loathes the holiday. With a passion. For reasons that might well have to do with a previous paragraph. Maybe. I'm not saying one way or the other. His reasons are his own. But there are two of them. Just so you know.
(That'll teach him not to be a regular reader of this blog...)
The One Hour Romance
You've no doubt seen this. The two people meet, know each other for but a short time, and instantly they are in wuv... excuse, in love. I don't believe in love in first sight, obviously, but even if I did, I don't think of it as dramatically sound. No building of ties, strengthening of bonds, that sort of thing, between the reader and the character. It's weak and sloppy and smacks of the Author taking the easy way out.Now it's clear I'm not in the majority here, considering the continued and lasting popularity of Romeo and Juliet. Which I must confess I can't understand in the slightest. Here's a play about two kids drowning in hormones who meet a couple of times and decide that life isn't worth living without each other's company. It isn't a tragedy; it's Darwinism cleaning up the gene pool. If they could have take the Nurse with them it could have been a hat trick.
We had to read Romeo and Juliet in high school, along with that other anti-romance, Wuthering Heights, in high school, and I'm still bitter about it. What an education. Of course, we also got to read The Maltese Falcon, Hound of the Baskervilles, and Frankenstein, so my school was pretty damn cool. But I was happier before Romeo and the ever so "charming" Heathcliff. Much happier.
Small note before I move on to the next peeve. While this is the first portion of the series published, it is actually the second written. The original post deals with what I consider the Greatest Romantic Movie in All Fantastic Film, and wouldn't you know it? A variation on the One Hour Romance. Like everything, if the end result is entertaining, I can overlook my dislikes.
Sometimes.
Destined Romances
Along with the One Hour Romance, I hate seeing two characters who are "Meant to Be". The protagonist dreams of a character in chapter three and by chapter five or later, surprise, surprise the dream appears in the flesh. This happens more in Fantasy than in any place else, but when there is only one potential matching, that old "Match Made in Heaven" feeling creeps in and the romance loses something for me.I like Romantic Triangles and Quadrangles myself. Picking out who I would prefer the protagonist end up with, rooting for or against, all adds spice to the proceeding. I like the possibility that the Wrong One might be chosen. Or that I chose the wrong one.
The Hell He/She Doing With Her/Him?
Like in any story, the battle must be even. Romantic Triangles and Quadrangles aren't nearly as fun if one or more of the points is an obvious drip that will be shuffled off to oblivion. If the choice isn't hard, it isn't worth while. Too many modern Romances are like this, which is why I don't have much use for most of them.Of course, most modern Romances aren't in the Fantastic field, so I'd have little use for them anyways, but that's neither here nor there...
Inferred Romance
Finally, we have the Inferred Romance. Suddenly the characters are in love, without even the casualness of an One Hour Romance. This is LAZY WRITING and I HATE IT!!! That stuff should have been strengthened before it went out into the world. THERE IS SELDOM AN EXCUSE ACCEPTABLE FOR IT!GAAAH!
I had an example, but it's in territories Welltun Cares Presents has yet to tread. In general terms, it's a video game. In specific terms, it's one of the worst I have ever played. I considered using it as an example, but my Hate hasn't died enough on it. Apparently.
So, no examples!
Yeah. Writing by whim works real well.
Next time, we'll cover what I enjoy in Romance (probably a shorter piece) and move on to The Greatest Romantic Movie in All Fantastic Film (which, excusing a slight rewrite, is done.) That should be that... though I might continue if I can think of more...
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