It has come to my attention that I have made a grammatical faux-pas. Apparently I needed "their" instead of "there" in the previous post. I would like to say that the mistake was made while I was on mass quantities of egg nog or whiskey, but the truth of the matter is that neither are at fault this time.
Nor is it all the hours spent ignoring my English teachers. Although that has hampered my writing skills a touch here and there. Mostly there.
No, my father has worked long and hard teaching me right from wrong in terms of grammar. He has strove with diligence and good will through acres and acres of poorly thought out sentences and paragraphs that could kill a giraffe.
I know better.
I have no excuse.
Thus I will take the honorable way out. The route all great writers filled with remorse take in the end.
That's right. Seppuku... with a fresh noodle.
It is a tough thing to have happen so soon before Christmas. I fear I have no choice. I have shamed both my father and my mother beyond endurance. And that mistake with "there" was pretty bad, too.
I shall face this as I have faced all of my life's challenges: with a lot of weeping and incoherent screams. But fear not. The justice of the noodle is not swift. All those before me who have tried to regain dignity through this method refuse to speak about it afterwards. In fact, they pretty much deny it.
So long. Farewell. Adieu. Aloha. Adios. Auf Wiedersehen. Gesundheit. Goodbye.
Nor is it all the hours spent ignoring my English teachers. Although that has hampered my writing skills a touch here and there. Mostly there.
No, my father has worked long and hard teaching me right from wrong in terms of grammar. He has strove with diligence and good will through acres and acres of poorly thought out sentences and paragraphs that could kill a giraffe.
I know better.
I have no excuse.
Thus I will take the honorable way out. The route all great writers filled with remorse take in the end.
That's right. Seppuku... with a fresh noodle.
It is a tough thing to have happen so soon before Christmas. I fear I have no choice. I have shamed both my father and my mother beyond endurance. And that mistake with "there" was pretty bad, too.
I shall face this as I have faced all of my life's challenges: with a lot of weeping and incoherent screams. But fear not. The justice of the noodle is not swift. All those before me who have tried to regain dignity through this method refuse to speak about it afterwards. In fact, they pretty much deny it.
So long. Farewell. Adieu. Aloha. Adios. Auf Wiedersehen. Gesundheit. Goodbye.
...i'll be back later once my pride heals. my lord. where was my head?...
3 comments:
Wow! I'm EVEN MORE EVIL than I thought I was!
...there IS a Santa Claus!
I happen to have a katana, if you need someone to remove your head should the pain become too intense. Oh wait. You're kidding, right?
I don't need a katana. I have a little brother with a machete and 21+ years of dealing with me to vent his way through. :-)
Post a Comment